Christopher Walken Advises: Needs More Penguins

I saw Al Gore’s movie “An Inconvenient Truth”. While I thought it was a great film, I can’t believe the people who made this film didn’t realize some basics about film marketing. OK, let me explain it to them. If you’re going to make a film showing lots of snow, in order to attract a larger audience, you need to have some penguins in your film. People these days want to see penguins. Believe me, show penguins fleeing melting snow due to global warming, and you’ll have global warming legislation passed in no time.

I’ve been having trouble at work recently. Someone else keeps getting requests approved over my requests. I told him “you must have a photograph of the boss in bed with two dead women, because I only have a photograph of him in bed with one dead woman and you keep trumping me.” Suddenly, I notice that guy now mostly leaves me alone.