Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Make a Beehive For It

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Make a Beehive For It

One of my favorite childhood memories was of a school teacher who wore a beehive hairdo. In retrospect, I think schools should automatically conduct thorough background searches on any applicant a for school position who wears a beehive hairdo. Yet, when we were young, we didn't think anything at all about the fact that our teacher wore a beehive hairdo, except for the fact that, being children, our thoughts run along the lines such as "look at that psycho with the strange hairdo."

Beehive hairdos have the advantage that you can stick things in them and they'll remain stuck in them. Our teacher, for reasons that make no sense other than the fact she probably was highly psychotic, would stick her pens and pencils in her beehive hairdo. My advice to people with beehive hairdo: having pens and pencils sticking out of your hair generally does not enhance the, err, beauty of such hair.

One day, our teacher with a beehive hairdo went to reach for a pen on her desk, only to discover she could not find any. She immediately assumed that someone had stolen all her pens. She lost it. She started screaming at us, demanding to know who had stolen all her pens. What she didn't realize was all her pens were stuck in her hair. To children, the sight of a psychotic woman with a dozen pens and pencils sticking from a beehive hairdo screaming at us demanding to know where her pens were was the funniest thing we had seen in at least the past hour. The students broke into hilarious laughter. This, of course, did not sit well with our teacher, who could not understand why people were laughing at the idea that her precious pens were missing. This only made her lose it even more and yell louder. Which, in turn, caused the students to laugh even more.

I believe, if you walk past the classroom to this day, the yelling and laughter continues...slowly building louder and louder...and louder.


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