2005 Just Flu By

Just when I stopped writing “2004” on all my checks, they change the number again. This is so confusing.

I saw a movie where Kim Basinger is filmed performing a deep, dark fantasy of mine. She goes around killing Elvis impersonators,

I have realized nothing a guy does with a woman will ever be correct. Thus, why fret it? If I hit on a woman, she thinks I’m a pervert. If I don’t, she thinks I’m gay. Most of my life, though, I am just a well behaved, restrained pervert.

I will conclude on a happy note—those of us not killed by floods, terrorists, flu, disease, war, choking while naked with a hooker’s phone number in the waste can, and any of a number of myriad causes---see you at the next New Year.