Proof Einstein Didn't Watch TV as a Child

The toy industry states that it is recalling all the toys recently found to contain health and safety hazards. The industry promises that the toys will be gathered and disposed of properly: for resell in dollar stores.

Somewhere, there is a person whose favorite sports players were Barry Bonds in baseball, Kobe Bryant in basketball, and Michael Vick in football, who voted for Bush-Cheney, invested in Enron, and bought a house in the New Orleans Ninth Ward. Today, that person is my investment counselor.

Researches found Einstein’s papers from his teenage years, and it turns out he was a real rebel. It seems his first equation was the e=fu2.

The television industry disputes studies that indicate that children who watch television actually lose vocabulary words the more they watch. According to the press release, the networks responded with “TV, good. Researchers, bad.”

Russia is giving employees time off on September 12 in order to use that time to conceive children. The response has been enormous. All across the country, doctors and nurses are already putting in for vacation time on the week of June 12.

If women are coeds, why aren't men ed? (Except, of course, for Ed.)