Franco Is Still Dead

Yesterday, the press wrongly announced that Yassar Arafat had died. It appears that the announcement was based on inaccurate exit pollings. As ballots from physicians at the hospital were actually counted, the results began showing different results. NBC was the first network to project that Yassar Arafat was in fact still alive. Fox News reported that not only had Arafat died but that he was risen from the dead. CBS meanwhile reported they had information that Arafat never served in Viet Nam. No one was watching ABC to learn what they were broadcasting. When reached for comment, Chevy Chase responded by confirming that Francisco Franco was still dead.