Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Fear Me, Not the Shower

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Fear Me, Not the Shower

When Johnny Ramone died, his obituary mentioned that his family seemed to be cursed. I do not believe in curses, but I know some people do. I had once joked that I had placed a curse on Joey Ramone. I had meant that as a joke, for ever since I put my pretend curse on him his career had fizzled. Others took my comment to mean that I have some supernatural powers. I do not. In fact, I like The Ramones, and I am glad to have met Joey Ramone, even if briefly in a bizarre fashion which led to my curse joke.
I met Joey Ramone in the Hard Rock Cafe in New York. We were both dining there. A group of women swarmed around Joey and asked for his autograph, but none of them had a pen. An alert eyed Joey observed that I had a pen (which I always carry, being a writer) and asked if he could borrow it. I lent him my pen. When he was done signing, he politely returned my pen. I then asked if I could also have his autograph. He said "No", and then turned around and left. Perhaps he was being funny, or maybe he only signs autographs for attractive women, or maybe he is rude. I don't know which. Yet, after that, I used to joke that even since then, The Ramones had failed to have another hit, and that was because I had then placed a curse of him.
In retelling this story, I was asked if there ever was anyone else who had turned down an autograph request. I explained that, yes, Janet Leigh had down something similar. She was signing autographs for people, and when I asked for one, she turned me down. So, I announced, I place a curse on Janet Leigh.
The next morning, I get a phone call: "Dude, you killed Janet Leigh." Little did I know that when I was pretending to place a curse on Janet Leigh, that she died that same day.
No, I did not kill Janet Leigh or any of the Ramones. Yet, if people like to think I have the power to place curses, I can use that to my advantage. Someone told me studio executives are some of the most superstitious people there are. So, if I can wander around studios deciding which movies will be hits and will I will curse, there may some advantage to that...


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