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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Elvis, Marilyn, and JFK

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Elvis, Marilyn, and JFK

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

I have solved the John Kennedy assassination. Elvis Presley killed John Kennedy in a jealous rage over Marilyn Monroe. I know this because I am the illegitimate child of Elvis and Marilyn and because I have been holding this secret for decades, along with who Deep Throat is (no, not the Watergate guy, I mean Marilyn Chambers...whoops, I let that one out of the bag by accident). Offers for my memoirs should be posted.

Incidentally, I have a Marilyn Chambers story that is right out of a episode for television. What is the social etiquette when you meet someone and she has, well, let us say, something exposed that she probably didn't intend to have exposed (although, with Marilyn Chambers, who knows if she didn't mean for it to be exposed?) Do you mention it, and definitely embarass her, and even embarass yourself for noticing, or do you pretend to not notice and not say anything, and, of course, if you decide to say something, the longer you wait to tell her, the more you look like a pervert for having waited to say something until then, or do you pretend to then suddenly notice and act valiant, or, as I mentioned before, maybe she knows it is exposed, in which case she either thinks you're a pervert for not saying anything, or maybe she thinks you're a gentleman for not saying anything, or, as someone once said, say nothing and enjoy the view...

...you pervert.

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